dating service people herpes - Dating advice hard to get

Or are we together because we live in the same city, our personalities are compatible and we ended up liking and loving each other the same amount at the same time? It’s uncomfortable admitting I “played the game,” because it makes me feel like I perpetuated an archaic, perhaps sexist, system by sitting on my hands and letting a guy take the lead.

Then again, I’m passive by nature — my personality is conducive to hanging back a little — I don’t think gender alone dictated our roles.“Playing hard to get is…hard, but it works,” said Paul, age 24.

Curious what a relationship expert would have to say, I spoke with Monica Parikh, dating coach and founder of School of Love NYC. “But I do advocate developing a confident and detached style of dating.” When I asked her what she meant by detached, she said, “Detachment is the most important (and difficult) skill to master in dating. Maybe hard to get is best defined not as a sneaky strategy to feign disinterest, but as a manifestation of confidence and self-respect — and it ought to be deployed accordingly.

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Establishing a coy, flirtatious repartee I’ve many times employed the hard to get strategy myself, although I’m not sure how effectively. For example, are my current boyfriend and I together because I played hard to get?

He did, after all, initiate most of the milestones in our relationship (he asked me out on dates, said “I love you” first, started the conversation about defining our relationship).

The philosophy of “playing hard to get” has been instilled in me since birth — partially because, without it, my birth might never have occurred.

Per the story my parents have rehashed for years, hard to get was the domino that tipped their relationship from dating into engagement.

Increase your perceived value by appearing “scarce”2.

Test the interest and commitment of a potential partner3.The mind game of playing hard to get is so widely reinforced in popular culture that I feel a little ridiculous even asking these questions, but I think they’re worth probing.Boiled down to its most primitive logic, playing hard to get seems to have three intended outcomes:1.My mom, very much in love with my dad, told him she was moving home to Virginia.It wasn’t true of course, she merely hoped it would compel him to ask for her hand in marriage posthaste, to get her to stick around. I was born two years later, and my parents are still happily married to this day.“Now imagine there’s sides strategizing head-to-head, both playing hard to get, both wanting the chase.

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