updating advanced guestbook 2 3 2 - Dating for parents of autistic children

But don’t be the one to instruct them about coming to those terms.

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” Please don’t complain about all of the “normal” things that bother you as the parent of a typical child -- at least not in front of parents who have children on the spectrum.

Most parents of children with autism dream about driving their kids to soccer or ballet, and parents of the 25 percent of non-verbal children on the spectrum dream about their children speaking one day. Do say: “Can I offer to drive your child to speech therapy or physical therapy? ” Life can be incredibly overwhelming, especially during the months right after your child is diagnosed with autism.

My cousin has a friend whose neighbor’s sister has a child with autism.” It’s human nature to try to show empathy for the family affected by autism, but it’s not right to say that you know “exactly” what parents are going through if you don’t have a child with autism.

Do say: “I don’t know what you’re going through, but I’m willing to listen if you need to talk.” By honestly acknowledging the gap in your knowledge and offering heartfelt help, you will be a much better support system for the parents of a child on the spectrum.

Research shows the importance of intensive early intervention, and treatment/support usually continues over the lifetime of an individual on the spectrum.

Do say: “What kind of treatment program are you using for your child? ” Be careful not to offer unsolicited advice about the treatments or educational choices that have been made, or be overly probing.

Statements like these seem to minimize a parent’s experience by implying that this situation is something that they be able to handle.

Also, while it’s tempting to try to put a positive spin on the diagnosis, most parents of newly diagnosed children don’t feel that the diagnosis is the “best.” Over time, parents come to a place of acceptance, and some even view the diagnosis as a gift or as a way to gain a different perspective on life.

Also, it’s more acceptable to refer to children on the spectrum as “children with autism” rather than “autistic children.” When a child has leukemia, we say the child has cancer, not that the child is cancerous.

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