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Even an enduring lover may come and go, for business or personal reasons, with long periods apart when there are temptations to flirt and play which diminishes commitment–another reason why Ari wants to live in Europe with its high density ‘gay cities’ with supportive friendships and communities.

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It is not easy to label the ‘scene’ here because it is not organized, not open, not admitted, yet it’s cruisy, sexy, internet-connected and quite populous. During my visit I chatted with two very different gay men, one a young student at a local university and the other a retired Italian resident of Tunis now self-employed. Ari, a university student studying architecture, and I met at tea time and had creamy thick hot chocolate at a trendy modern coffee shop and later went for pizza across the street.

Ari is a gregarious gay youth of 20 maturing out of his twink years.

Thoughtful, expressive, verbal (4 languages), introspective, narcissistic and gay.

All of which fuel an adventurous spirit of discovery and wonder and also ennui with the world around him.

At no point in our talk did he express any disturbing emotions or trauma from his early sexual encounters.

His major complaint is having to hide his truth and feeling negatively judged by society.Part of his ‘curse’ is being gay and privileged in a ‘third-world’ conservative Muslim country.Despite the early hopes of the Tunisian political revolution of 2011 subsequent elections brought an Islamist party to majority power due mostly to the secularists splintering into separate parties and unable to unite. More than one gay person believes the former authoritarian government was at least more tolerant of LGBT citizens than the present one.One said the ousted president Ben Ali was privately tolerant of LGBT people as long as they didn’t get involved in politics.“Make sex, not politics,” he was alleged to have commented before his downfall.“Guys talk about girls all the time and are frustrated because society says no sex before marriage.

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